The Gavel's Diatribe acts as the satirical medium for short rants over topics ranging from complete triviality to utmost importance.
Despite the terror and tragedy that recently struck in Las Vegas, we need not be afraid. Congress has finally taken decisive action to address the issue of gun violence in America by officially offering their thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families. This bold decision was announced by members of both the Senate and the House of Representatives on various social media platforms Monday morning, leaving the American people with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and relief.
At this time, it is important that we cast aside all doubts about the effectiveness of Congress’ decision. We, like our legislators, must fully trust that this prayerful inaction is the only logical means to reduce the ever-increasing death toll caused by mass shootings in America. While Congress’ thoughts and prayers did not prevent the horrific violence in Aurora, Newtown, Charleston, San Bernardino, Orlando, or Dallas, it would be ridiculous to seek out any alternative solutions.
A bill making it more difficult for people with mental illnesses to purchase guns? Absolutely not. Stricter laws about background checks? Don’t be silly. Immediately initiating discussion about how to prevent further tragedies inflicted by guns? Outrageous.
Most of all, we must understand that attacks perpetrated by white American males require an entirely different response than those perpetrated by foreign terrorists. As the wise Texas Senator Ted Cruz reminds us, violence committed by Muslim extremists should be addressed immediately with new policy agendas. In the face of such attacks, he nobly calls upon fellow legislators and Americans to do everything in their power to prevent future violence by constructing a coherent plan of action. His reaction to the Las Vegas shooting shows us that when the perpetrator is a white American citizen, our only option is to pray. As our nation copes with the horrors of Las Vegas, we must find comfort in the sole practical solution at our disposal: the omnipotent healing power of our Congress’ thoughts and prayers.