Predicting the outcome of the Super Bowl is a science, really. It’s easy...just take an arbitrary guess! Everybody has his or her own champion calculation that he or she loves to share at parties for the two weeks leading up to SuperBowl Sunday. Well, let me tell you something: yours is right. I have a good feeling about it. But, will you listen to your gut and continue proclaiming that Tom Brady’s facial structure is the most beautiful thing to happen to the NFL since Bill Belichick’s short sleeve hoodie? Or, will you consider the predictions of Gavel Sports' very, very credible staff? Their knowledge bombs will blow your mind.
Given that the Pats aren't playing Eli Manning, they have to be the favorites. Plus, in my Super Bowl square pool, I need the Pats' score to end in 0 and the Seahawks' score to end in 8. So...Pats win 30-28 on a last-second field goal.
So, I had this dream, and when the Patriots were running out of their tunnel before the game, Gronk accidentally collided with a cheerleader. He broke his toe and ended up not being able to play in the game. And then, in a series of unfortunate events, the Patriot players started going down one by one.
By the fourth quarter, they ended up barely being able to get 11 players on the field. Brady actually had to step in on defense; people were calling him "the best new corner in the game," a title formerly held by The Seahawks' Richard Sherman. Unfortunately, Brady's prowess on both ends of the ball didn't end up saving the game, and the Patriots lost by a score of 107-34.
But, in a twist of fate following the game, the league found out that the Seahawks actually deflated balls -- and had proof of it -- and awarded the Super Bowl title to the Patriots, bringing the always fun Super Bowl parade back to the city of Boston.
There are four quarters in football. Tom Brady's number is twelve. Twelve divided by four is three. There are three sides on a triangle. The illuminati is known by the triangle shape. Therefore, the illuminati have rigged the game in the Patriots' favor. As a result, I will be rooting vehemently for the Seahawks, because cheaters should never prosper. With that said, though, I'm still delusional and have high hopes of the Redskins pulling off a late season comeback.
Let’s be honest, the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl. Other than the facts that the Seahawks' head coach (Pete Carroll) bears an uncanny resemblance to a mad scientist and that star running back Marshawn Lynch would rather open a bag of skittles than talk to the media, they’re playing the Patriots after all.
The Patriots have the most clutch quarterback in the league -- who is also the only quarterback in existence who could make Uggs look cool -- and a head coach whose football prowess is as understated as the attire he sports during football games.
Quite honestly, I’m starting to think the joke that has been “DeflateGate” exists merely so that other NFL teams can cling onto anything they can to feel better about their lack of comparative success for the past decade -- but I digress.
Sorry, Seattle; the Super Bowl is ours.
And finally, my objective, reasonable opinion:
I hate the Patriots. Seahawks taste the rainbow with a 100 – 0 win (ten touchdowns, two field goals, and seven safeties) over the Hatriots.
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