Have you ever wondered what it would be like if there were a March Madness bracket made up of everything that makes Boston College... well... Boston College? If you did - enjoy! If you did not, then you're in luck because we decided to do it for you. This may seem irrelevant, but just think of it as a way of staying in touch with BC while you're off partaking in your summertime tomfoolery (whoa, try saying that ten times fast). So, without further ado, here is what we'd liked to call May Madness: BC Bracketology.
Here's our final product. Out of our sanity and for the sake of all pixelated images everywhere, we had to attach it as a PDF file. But don't worry! We've taken handy screenshots for you to follow along as we break down the first round, the field of 32, the Sweet Sixteen, the Elite Eight, the Final Four, and then finally the Chestnut Hill Championship successively for each of the four divisions.
The South (Maroon)
Round of 64
- 1 Steak and Cheese vs 16 Living on CoRo
- One promotes happiness; the other, sadness.
- 8 The Plex vs 9 Comm Ave Direct
- The Plex started hot this year because it once again become a sweatshop in the early Fall. However, it waned in the late season as people swarmed to prepare for bikini season made it impossible to find a bench or treadmill. Ultimately it couldn’t match up with the dependability of the Comm Ave Direct.
- 5 A Response from Dolores vs 12 Senior Week
- Senior Week looks good on paper, but you won’t end up remembering any of it, and you’re kicked out at the end of it. A Response from Dolores, however, is always memorable.
- 4 Johnny Gaudreau vs 13 Lower at 6:30
- The face of BC hockey proved too elusive for Lower at 6:30. A young team, Lower at 6:30 showed its inexperience as the game wore on with players bumping into each other and getting caught standing still far too often to keep up.
- 6 Snow Days vs 11 Yik Yak
- Yik Yak may be the talk of the campus, but Snow Days is the dynasty powerhouse of this division.
- 3 The Mods vs 14 Maloney Elevator
- I’ll take waiting to get into a Mod vs. waiting for a crowded elevator anyday. This game really comes down to location, location, location.
- 7 The Beanpot vs 10 The Core
- While the Core tries to play a well-rounded game with contributions from every player, eventually two or three players will just be difficult to work with, poorly coached, or flat-out boring. The Beanpot moves on.
- 2 Jerry York vs 15 Graduation
- Let’s be honest, this is basically tears of joy vs. tears of sorrow. Jerry York’s smiling face advances.
Most brackets are likely still intact, with just the one upset of 9 Comm Ave. Direct over 8 The Plex. Let's be honest, though, The Plex had no business being ranked so high. Regardless, we move on.
Round of 32
- 1 Steak and Cheese vs 9 Comm Ave Direct
- I’m fairly positive the Comm Ave Direct only exists so kids can get to campus to eat a Steak and Cheese. No contest, but if I could get some peppers, BBQ, and Chipotle, that would be great.
- 4 Johnny Gaudreau vs 5 A Response from Dolores
- A Response from Dolores proves to be a flash in the pan, and nothing more. Johnny Gaudreau, on the other hand, has already scored a goal in the NHL. Johnny Hockey glides into the Sweet 16 with ease.
- 3 The Mods vs 6 Snow Days
- The Mods have always been there. And as long as The Mods are always there, waiting outside to get into a mod will always be there. Snow Days may only come once a year, and their elegance must be cherished.
- 2 Jerry York vs 7 The Beanpot
- Jerry York is the reason why The Beanpot is as high as a 7-seed. York’s offense makes mincemeat of The Beanpot, and he advances to the Sweet 16.
6 Snow Days proves up to the task against 3 The Mods. We thought we'd have another upset in the 4 Johnny Gaudreau vs 5 A Response from Dolores matchup, but an NCAA investigative report came out right before game time proving that the team known as A Response from Dolores had never actually existed.
- 1 Steak and Cheese vs 4 Johnny Gaudreau
- Johnny Gaudreau left us for Calgary, but Steak and Cheese will always be there for Eagles looking to take in a full week’s worth of calories and fat in one sitting. Steak and Cheese overpowers Johnny Gaudreau’s finesse.
- 2 Jerry York vs 6 Snow Days
- Snow Days are amazing, perhaps even seeded a bit too low by the committee, but their style of play has already been mastered by Coach York. Jerry seems like he’s gunning for another championship banner in this tournament.
The #1 and #2 seeds make it to the Elite Eight in the South, prompting many NCAA critics to cry foul. For those that watched closely, though, 1 Steak and Cheese and 2 Jerry York truly deserved to move on.
- 1 Steak and Cheese vs 2 Jerry York
- It’s what any true fans wanted, a matchup between the first and second seeds. Everyone bet on Steak and Cheese to advance, but then suddenly, when it seemed like it was at its most dependable, it disappeared from the lunch and dinner menu at the worst possible time. The sudden sporadic appearance of its all-too-familiar meats, veggies (questionably), sauces, and cheese ultimately doomed it. Jerry York’s surgically enhanced eyesight made him all the more deadly this game, cashing in at an insane rate of .618 from beyond the arc for the win.
We put the South aside for now and take a look at who will make it out of the East to face Jerry York in the Final Four.
The East (Silver)
Round of 62
- 1 Package Notification Emails vs 16 The Housing Lottery
- Package Notification Emails make you sweaty in an excited sort of way, but The Housing Lottery makes you sweaty in a “If we don’t get an 8-man who are we kicking out of the group?” kind of way.
- 8 Brad Bates vs 9 Hot Croissants from the Rat
- Brad Bates is on a hot streak coming into the season with newfound success for a fading program, but let’s hope the Jim Christian decision works out for him if he wants to advance any further.
- 5 Remote Printing vs 12 Rubinoff
- While Rubinoff seems to be in the tournament every year, it always comes up short and leaves you disappointed and occasionally questioning your life choices. Remote Printing, a newcomer this year, boasts a team that boasts an impressive “Hot off the Presses” full-court press. Remote Printing FTW.
- 4 CSOM vs 13 Honey Q
- WHAT AN UPSET. The Honey Q dominates CSOM in this matchup, but those who viewed the game have this sorta weird, queasy feeling after the game. Hmm, it’s probably nothing though.
- 6 #Gassongrams vs 11 Stokes Hall
- #snow #winter #lights #Gasson #LoveBC #nofilter #Stokes...MoreLike"Jokes" #lol
- 3 Coach Addazio vs 14 @BCBananas
- Coach Addazio eats bananas for breakfast.
- 7 Sexual Chocolate Shows vs 10 Cohabitation
- Though we can’t officially condone Cohabitation on campus, there are some who say it may not be that bad.
- 2 Hillside vs 15 Bapst
- Bapst comes within a bell-ring of an upset here, but Frips, the sixth-man of the year in the BCDC (Boston College Dining Conference) comes off the bench and provides the spark Hillside needs to advance.
The 13 Honey Q upset over 4 CSOM is a true bracket-wrecker. CSOM will have a tough time swallowing this defeat, which made them perhaps the least worthy #4 seed of the tournament.
Round of 32
- 1 Package Notification Emails vs 8 Brad Bates
- Not even an upstart Brad Bates, fresh off their victory against the formidable Hot Croissants from the Rat, can slay the Package Notification Emails. Package Notification Emails seem to be coming together at the right time of the season.
- 5 Remote Printing vs 13 Honey Q
- HONEY Q IS NOW ON A ROLL (but actually on a wrap). Remote printing ran into a hot Honey Q at the wrong time. There’s no telling if the Honey Q train will ever be stopped.
- 3 Coach Addazio vs 6 #Gassongrams
- Coach Addazio’s patented #BeADude offense dominates #Gassongram. Coach Addazio’s social network game is way too tight.
- 2 Hillside vs 10 Cohabitation
- Due to official editing we can no longer officially condone cohabitation at a Catholic Institution officially. Hillside wins by default, though it’s likely the New England Classic’s insane athleticism would have propelled it to victory anyway.
We may be witnessing something for the story books here with 13 Honey Q taking down 5 Remote Printing. Other news in the East: 1 Package Notification Emails has quietly turned in back-to-back impressive performances and is now set to face 13 Honey Q.
- 1 Package Notification Emails vs 13 Honey Q
- Any other year, Package Notification Emails would have walked away with this victory. BUT NOT THIS YEAR. THIS YEAR THEY RAN INTO THE FREAKING HONEY Q BUZZSAW. HONEY Q ON THE WARPATH..OOH..AHH.
- 2 Hillside vs 3 Coach Addazio
- Coach Addazio eats Hillside for lunch.
3 Coach Addazio was a fan favorite coming in to this tournament, but one cannot help to root for the underdog story of the year: 13 Honey Q.
- 13. Honey Q v. 3 Coach Addazio
- THE HONEY Q TRAIN CANNOT BE STOPPED… but Coach Addazio eats Honey Q’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The Cinderella story comes up short for the Honey Q, and all fans are left with is the nausea, bloating, and gas that a 3-day Honey Q bender will bring. Coach Addazio on to the Final Four.
Was it the curse of being a #13 seed? Possibly. But Either way, we have half of the Final Four set to go as we turn our attention to the West.
The West (Gold)
Round of 62
- 1 Late Night vs 16 Million Dollar Stairs
- Let’s put it this way. No one’s guilty pleasure is walking up the Million Dollar Stairs, but same can’t be said for Late Night. Late Night cruises to the next round.
- 8 Modstock vs 9 Off-Campus Housing
- Modstock is another team that looks pretty on paper, but their freshman Hoodie Allen offers nothing but disappointment. Conversely, while Off-Campus Housing looks poorly at first glance, it plays surprisingly well, and the lack of RA’s and ability to not have to hide alcohol works to its advantage.
- 5 Empty Classrooms during Finals Week vs 12 Dave Shinskie
- The season started with such promise for Dave Shinskie, but it ends in heartbreak. Empty Classrooms during Finals Week is simply too strong.
- 4 Doug Flutie vs 13 Chocolate Bar
- Doug Flutie comes from behind to defeat the Chocolate Bar’s festive lattes and surprisingly filling cheese platters. Classic Flutie, am I right?
- 6 Chipotle Mayo vs 11 Mac N Cheese (sans the Rat)
- Mac N Cheese is beloved by BC supporters everywhere, but Chipotle Mayo makes everything go down smoothly. Chipotle Mayo advances in a delicious, delicious victory.
- 3 Baldwin vs 14 Newton Campus
- Oh but Newton liiiiike totally has the best food at BC!! (laughs) Please. Did you really think Newton would win? Newton never wins. Ever.
- 7 BCStreak vs 10 Dick Po
- Dick Po’s scintillating card swipes prove too much for BCStreak, who was only able to counter with an article “On Suddenly Becoming Attractive.”
- 2 BC vs. BU Hockey vs 15 BC Bookstore
- BC Bookstore’s expensive paraphernalia is no substitute for the real thing. BC vs BU Hockey is truly a sight to see, and they lower the hammer against the overpriced books.
Almost identical to the South's first round, the #9 seed pulls of the upset over the #8, as 9 Off-Campus Housing wipes the floor with 8 Modstock.
Round of 32
- 1 Late Night vs 9 Off-Campus Housing
- Off-Campus Housing’s disadvantage is that it sorely lacks in ready-to-go food options past midnight on the weekends. Coincidentally, this is where Late Night thrives. Late Night blows past Off-Campus Housing, dishing out mini pizzas like they’re freaking hotcakes and chicken fingers like they’re freaking chicken fingers.
- 4 Doug Flutie vs 5 Empty Classrooms during Finals Week
- Finding an Empty Classroom during Finals Week is basically a miracle on earth. You know who excretes miracles? Doug Effing Flutie. There’s no getting past the dude who woke up and decided to run the Marathon on a whim.
- 3 Baldwin vs 6 Chipotle Mayo
- Baldwin seemed like he was cruising for a victory, but a crucial injury to star player, the BC Fiddle Kid, cost him the game. Chipotle Mayo and its savory play advances.
- 2 BC v. BU Hockey vs 10 Dick Po
- Dick Po has skills, and lots of them. But his calm, almost tortoise-like demeanor proves to be his weakness. The adrenaline-filled atmosphere found only at a BC v. BU Hockey game is too much for Dick Po’s utter indifference.
This tension in this division is so thick you couldn't even cut it with a knife. You'd need a blowtorch or something.
- 1 Late Night vs 4 Doug Flutie
- Late Night was going to win this game with their overwhelming food options and somewhat rowdy atmosphere, but then Doug Flutie reminded everyone that the statues on campus are: St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Archangel Michael, an actual golden Eagle, and then Doug Flutie. So everyone laughed and gave Flutie the win.
- 2 BC v BU Hockey vs 6 Chipotle Mayo
- Let’s just say that no one’s ever considered drizzling the tangy goodness of a BC v. BU Hockey game on everything they’ve ever eaten. On second thought, let’s just say Chiptole Mayo wins and just move on.
The #1 and #2 seeds are both eliminated before the Elite Eight... and critics complain that the tournament is rigged again. In the end, it was simply a case of certain teams heating up at the right time.
- 4 Doug Flutie vs 6 Chipotle Mayo
- Doug Flutie has come a long way from just deciding to run the Boston Marathon the morning of… AND HE’S NOT DONE YET. Chipotle Mayo played overzealously and forgot who was the higher seed. Doug Flutie heaves a half-court shot at the end of the game to win and propel himself into the Final Four. Classic. Flutie.
What can't this man do? Now, let's see who he's facing in the Final Four from the Midwest.
The Midwest (Black)
Round of 62
- 1 Marathon Monday vs 16 Finals
- Best day of the year up against the worst time of the year… No contest.
- 8 Che Chi’s vs 9 LaundryView
- Turn up for Che Chi’s, turn down for Laundry. Che Chi’s gets the W.
- 5 Football Tailgates vs 12 Nights on the Heights
- I think more people are in the mod lot at a tailgate than have ever gone to Nights on the Heights. Ever.
- 4 Showdown vs 13 Meatball Obsessions
- Despite a program overhaul by Beans Creams and Dreams, they still lack the depth to advance past the first round. Showdown reigns.
- 6 Ana from Eagles’ Nest vs 11 OLAA
- I think we’d all rather wait in line for 20 extra minutes than pay for something not crafted by Ana herself.
- 3 No Line at Addie’s vs 14 Point Drives
- “Wanna donate to our service trip?” Hell no, I gotta eat.
- 7 New Hong Kong vs 10 Andre Williams
- What’s more powerful, Andre Williams or the morning after you eat NHK? We all know the answer to that one. NHK advances.
- 2 Mary Ann’s vs 15 Plain and Simple
- When you walk into MA’s for the first time it’s like walking into Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Plain and Simple on the other hand has three different potato products, and they can’t keep up with MA’s cheap and affordable gameplay.
For those that filled out their bracket without a clue in the world as to how NCAA tournaments work, this first round is a dream. No upsets, no worries.
Round of 32
- 1 Marathon Monday vs 8 Che Chi’s
- Both will leave you sick in the morning, but one involved time well spent with friends while the other involved time not well spent eating your feelings away.
- 4 Showdown vs 5 Football Tailgates
- Football tailgates end with you showing up late to a BC football game, whereas, Showdown ends with you realizing you’re a failure in comparison to the art you just witnessed. Tailgating also has morning alcoholism. So it’s got that going for it.
- 3 No Line at Addie’s vs 6 Ana from Eagles’ Nest
- Ana’s advantage last round is now her downfall. Her 20+ minute line falls to the mighty rarity of Addie’s lineless allure.
- 2 Mary Ann’s vs 7 New Hong Kong
- MA’s comes out strong, but then later on in the game the juniors take over, and suddenly the team looks weaker and frankly lamer than it did in the first half. NHK is nothing but consistent, you know what you’re going to get every time. NHK takes the win.
5 Football Tailgates and 7 New Hong Kong break the streak as they secure upsets over 4 Showdown and 2 Mary Ann's, respectively. 1 Marathon Monday is looking like the most dangerous #1 seed in this tournament right about now.
- 1 Marathon Monday vs 5 Football Tailgates
- They play essentially the same type of game, but Marathon Monday just plays it better, so they take the win.
- 3 No Line at Addie’s vs 7 New Hong Kong
- This game pits the clean, organic play of No Line at Addie’s against the sloppy, deep-fried play of NHK. The good guys win. No Line at Addie’s to the Elite Eight.
Order is restored as the higher seeds dominate in the Sweet Sixteen, pitting 1 Marathon Monday against 3 No Line at Addie's.
- 1 Marathon Monday vs 3 No Line at Addie’s
- No Line at Addie’s free-range three point shooting can’t keep up with the exhilarating speed of Marathon Monday, who plays so fast you can barely remember the whole game. Marathon Monday into the Final Four.
With the completion of the Midwest, all four divisions now have a winner. It's time to see just who will capture the Final Four and take home the cup / chalice / trophy / bowl / championship.
The Final Four
- East 3 Coach Addazio vs South 2 Jerry York
- The battle of the coaches. An unbelievable matchup that will be talked about for ages. Coach Addazio played a steady game of solid game planning, ample encouragement, and undeniable leadership, but this isn’t Jerry York’s first rodeo. Coach Addazio is outclassed at every junction by Jerry York, and Jerry York wins convincingly to advance to the Championship. Though he took the loss, Coach Addazio is a promising program, and supporters have to take away some happiness that it may not be too long before Coach Addazio is able to compete with programs such as Jerry York.
- West 4 Doug Flutie vs Midwest 1 Marathon Monday
- A matchup for the ages. In their last meeting Doug Flutie ran away with the victory over the Marathon, setting up what will be a contentious game. This time however, the Marathon takes the cake, and advances to the Championship. Marathon Monday’s ability to put forth a memorable performance every time it takes the floor was too much for Doug Flutie, and while Marathon Monday supporters are probably already blacked out in celebration of the victory, there’s still one more game to go.
- 2 Jerry York vs. 1 Marathon Monday
- Legend vs. Legend. History vs. History. The Man vs. The Monday. Truly, truly a battle of the titans here at BC. First we’ll start with Jerry, the winningest coach in collegiate hockey history with 963 wins and counting. Simply amazing. Under his guiding hand, the men’s ice hockey program has turned into THE powerhouse of the eastern United States - Union may have our number, but not nearly as storied of a tradition. Colloquially and warmly referred to as just Jerry, he is the face of BC athletics and will be for years to come. He also comes into this matchup having beaten a hot newcomer on the scene Coach Addazio. Having met Coach Addazio’s fiery grit with an unwavering gaze, Jerry York has by no means had a cake walk to this championship game. In the challenger, we’re talking about an internationally known celebration of perseverance, courage, and tenacity that’s been a staple of Boston’s way of life since 1897. Founded in 1863, Boston College has housed hundreds of thousands of undergraduates who have in one way or another taken part in the unique cultural experience that is Marathon Monday. Since its inception, BC has glorified the Boston Marathon and practically worshipped those 117 Mondays. Marathon Monday gives its all every game, exerting so much effort that it can barely function the following Tuesday. This championship game is no different. In an aggressive, offensive-minded game, it takes three overtimes to decide the winner. At the final buzzer, it is Marathon Monday that outlasts Jerry York, and the ensuing celebration leaves cups strewn about Comm Ave. -- an all too familiar scene.
There you have it, BC. In The Gavel's May Madness: BC Bracketology, Marathon Monday emerges victorious. Disagree with any of these outcomes? Feel free to leave us a comment with your thoughts!
A very special thanks goes to Bill Stoll, Associate Sports Editor Emeritus, who helped with much of the content you see here. Additionally, the wonderful Olivia Vera is to thank for the exquisitely designed bracket.
Follow @BCGavelSports for the latest updates on Boston College athletics.