Opinion: Predictions for 2014

As the New Year is almost upon us, your Opinions Editor has decided to take some educated stabs at what each month of 2014 will bring, whether it be BC-related or future current events (see what I did there? That was terrible, I apologize).

January - Florida State beats Auburn in the BCS National Championship, 53-37.

February - Panthers beat Broncos in the Super Bowl, 30-21. Luke Kuechly is Super Bowl MVP, and sets record for most tackles in a Super Bowl.

Luuuuukkkkeeee. Image via Sports Illustrated

Luuuuukkkkeeee. Photo courtesy of Sports Illustrated

March - Basketball coach Steve Donahue is fired after a 10 win season and 1st round exit in ACC tournament. Bobby Knight is coaxed out of retirement. Tempers flare. Chairs are thrown. Chaos ensues.

April - Jerry York and the Eagles win the NCAA hockey championship against Minnesota.

May - John Kerry gives commencement speech to the Class of 2014. Anti-abortion protestors, still enraged by the selection of Enda Kenny last year, show up again. No one cares.

June - Yours truly is going to be feeling 22.

July - Amazon starts using drones to deliver purchases straight to your door. It is quickly taken to court over various charges of the drones suddenly becoming self-aware and peeping into bedrooms across the country.

August - BC shuts out newly-Spazzed UMass 50-0 in the season opener. #fireSpaz chants ring out in Amherst.

September - Convocation. Overeager freshmen ask questions about a book that they haven’t even read to the author of said book.

October - World Series: Texas Rangers beat the Los Angeles Dodgers.

November - Congressman Peter King, formerly a notorious fundraiser for the Irish Republican Army and currently the epitome of a hypocrite in all that he does, finally loses his seat after 12 terms. Hopes for a 2016 presidential run are quashed.

December - BC goes 8-4 in Steve Addazio’s second season with the Eagles, and is selected to play in the Sun Bowl in El Paso, Texas.