The Eight Inventions You Wish a BC Student Would Create Already

While we have Johannes Gutenberg’s printing press to thank for having to buy extremely over-priced textbooks, we can all guess his invention came from someone saying, “Wow, my hand really hurts from rewriting all these stupid books over and over again!”…or at least something along those lines. As BC students there are a few inventions many of us would really appreciate being invented, realistic or not.

1. Almost everyone has a smartphone, so why don’t we make some useful apps? ModSquare could be an app where friends can “check in” to different mods, take pictures to show how awesome or miserable a party is, give information about the party’s theme, and so on. It just might help us steer clear of those past experiences we wish we never endured. Another possibility is iPlex, the gym app that displays which gym machines are taken in red and those that are open in white, much like Laundryview.

2. For people with teachers who speak too fast, we could have Taughtify – an app that streams in-class lectures to any mobile device so you don’t need to copy your friends’ notes anymore  and you’ll even have another tool for studying.

3. What about a user-friendly dining hall app? There are so many great features and opportunities, such as a listing each dining hall’s menu or how long the lines are. One section of the app can even let you order food to be delivered to your dorm, for only an extra 2 or 3 dining bucks. At the end of the year a new section can be added to pair people who have no dining bucks to those who have more than they know what to do with– no more creepily asking strangers out of desperation.

Image via. Pinterest.

Image via. Pinterest.

But, what if we could have any invention, regardless of its impossibility?

4. Like a ski lift to anywhere. Imagine one going from the bottom of the million dollar stairs up to main campus or even one just connecting upper to Mac. No more slipping down those icy steps or being stuck on lower because your legs are defective after doing squats for the first time in 3 years. Otherwise, I suppose we could just settle for million dollar escalators.

5. For all you Newtoners, welcome to Newtube, transferring students from Newton to main campus through a high-speed suction similar to the pipe roadways in Futurama. The same goes for Brighton, because that shuttle doesn’t come around nearly enough. It would almost be like the entire freshman class had the chance to live together ...almost.

6. Pulling an all-nighter for tomorrow’s final sounds miserable and unnecessary. Deprive yourself of sleep no more, because Bapst’s lower level would have a machine that transfers information from any textbook directly into your brain.

7. Looking for that tenth ab? Stop spending three hours doing crunches when you could have the Flab2Ab machine that  works out your body for you; all the results, none of the effort.

8. Finally, you all have had those moments when your friend says “you totally should’ve been there.” Well, what if you could be? I don’t mean time travel, but what about a room that recreates memories into a virtual reality, where you can step inside and personally watch your friend win that twerk contest against Daniel Radcliffe. That way, you can “be there,” but not run the risk of setting off a horrible butterfly effect that somehow leads to you waking up in the Amazon alone… no one wants that.

 Featured image via Flickr. 

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Jonathan Reed