Eaglets on the Warpath: High School Homecoming Throwback

I couldn’t tell you why, but I thought sweaty school dances ended in high school.

After attending this year’s Homecoming Dance, I realized I was wrong. Let’s look at a few aspects of school dances to better see the overwhelming similarities (Keep in mind I was wearing 5-inch heels the whole night, so my self-inflicted pain might have tainted my review).

Homecoming 2013 @ Sheraton(3)

Bad Music:

The music at my high school homecoming was actually better than that at BC's homecoming this year. Sometimes the DJ, who appeared to be a nice, capable young man, would play the beginning of a well-known song and then, just as you were belting out, “I travel the world and the seven seas, everybody’s looking for something…” the same obnoxious techno beat took over. To make the attendee’s experience even better, every two minutes the song (if you can call it that) slowed down to a pace impossible for dancing, so people were repeatedly left standing around awkwardly.

Even his dance scene is less awkward.

The playlist for the evening would have better served at a nightclub than a dry dance (though I did trip over several nips on the dance floor, so I bet some people would have a more favorable review of the night).

Dirty Dancing:

Homecoming 2013 @ Sheraton(2)

And not the good kind. Alright, I’m not totally anti-grind. What I don’t find favorable is the claustrophobia-inducing ring of sweaty couples dancing around me. One second I’m happy as can be, and the next I’ve somehow become involved in an intimate situation with two strangers. GET AWAY FROM ME. It’s like high school but worse because instead of 200 people getting it on, there are 500.

The Crowning:

There wasn’t even a crowning. What kind of homecoming dance doesn’t crown a queen and king? For all the cons of celebrating two people’s popularity over everyone else’s, it’s something to look forward to and keeps people interested. If I wanted this dance to be at all like my high school dances, it’d be for this reason.

Bad Food:

Saturday night’s food actually gets high marks. As described by another student, “I was worried I would have to get Late Night when I got back, but they brought Late Night to the dance!” The chicken tenders and waffle fries were excellent. The food remnants all over the carpet (which wasn’t anyone’s fault but our own) afterwards were not. My high school dances never had great food, and if there was great food, it disappeared after the first half hour.

All things considered, I appreciate UGBC’s efforts in putting together a successful dance that many people enjoyed in Boston to celebrate our win over Army this past weekend. However, partying it up back home sin dance would have cost less and been a better use of a Saturday night.

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Top Ten Ways to Lose Your Eagle I.D. Card

10. On the bus (you may get that back).
9. On the T (you’re never getting that back).
8. On your way to a football game. Sucks...
7. In the toilet. You can get it out, but do you want to?
6. In your own room.
5. Accidentally dropping it between the ellipticals at the Plex.
4. Accidentally dropping it into the gorge between O’Neill and Maloney.
3. In Mac. If anyone finds it, the card is promptly displayed on the window behind the trashcans. It’s like a Lost & Found on display for all of Upper and CoRo to see! Hopefully your picture isn’t as embarrassing as mine.
2. In your back pocket (it happened to my friend).
1. During Orientation (also happened to my friend).

Photos courtesy of Jono Keedy/Gavel Media.

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Maddie Webster