I know what you tweeted last summer: Charlie Sheen

“I always save the best for last.”

I mean honestly how many times have you said or heard that famous expression in your life? There’s no way this is your first time hearing it.

You may have been the unathletic kid in gym class who even your best friend over looked until the last pick in kickball, but of course he was only “saving the best for last.” Or the middle child whose name your mom managed to scribble in last when she was signing everyone’s names, in age order, onto the Christmas card because, as mom always says, she obviously “saves the best for last…”

To put it simply, whether you are the forgotten kid in the family or just plain picky when it comes to eating the different colored M&Ms in the bag, it’s almost an unwritten rule in our society to “save the best for last.”

What I’m trying to get at, in the completely most roundabout way possible, is that this is how I approached my final Twitter study this summer.

But how do you top the insanity of Amanda Bynes, or the “I might punch you if you say one more word” beauty that is Taylor Swift? For me this meant going back to the beginning, back to the single person who brought Twitter onto my radar.

Who is that said person? Charlie Sheen.

Before the cataclysmic meltdown that captured America’s attention where Charlie introduced us all to the term "#winning," I had no interest in Twitter. Didn’t know, didn’t understand and, to put it bluntly, I could not have cared less for whatever everyone meant by “tweeting.” So thank you Charlie Sheen for permanently bringing Twitter into my life.

Now I will completely forget all of the witty one-line jabs I have in my head right now; SNL has already been there. I also won’t even bother with the sarcastic and satirical commentary on the various tweets – Joel McHale, need I say more.

I mean what is there really left to say about a man with “cocaine” listed as a synonym for his own name?

So to finish this summer’s crash course on celebrity Twitters I will leave you all with the option of inserting your own thoughts on Charlie Sheen. Think of it like a final exam. You will get the chance to provide your own commentary on the obscure, poetic thoughts of Charlie. And that is not me being a pompous jerk there with that remark. The man’s tweets are literally structured like poems.

So do with them what you may and if you can make any sense of half of them let me know because I am truly perplexed.

If I can leave you all with just one piece of advice this summer on how to critique the celebrities that somehow have managed to dominate our society: Hit them low and hit them hard.

You may now begin.

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