BC Separation Anxiety is a blog in which I lament all things BC related that I will miss this summer. The whining is rampant.
It’s Sunday night and I am in need of some hardcore comfort food after a truly horrible day.
I could have made cookies, brownies, or mac n’ cheese, but instead I went with my BC Dining Hall favorite: Blazin’ Bowls. The first three options would have lead to me being emotionally drained and fat. The fourth option lead to me being emotionally drained and feeling like a rabbit. Yay vegetables!
You’re probably wondering how I pried the all hallowed Blazin’ Bowl recipe out of the vault in Lower where they keep their Mozz Stix recipe and Krabby Patty formula. I’m going to have to confess that I did not pull a ninja heist of the depths of Lower. I’ve just ordered a Blazin’ Bowl an ungodly amount of times and paid careful attention to the artists’ methodology. No, really. They know my order.
Who are the elusive “they” to whom I am referring? As any seasoned Blazin’ Bowl eater knows, the quality of said bowl relies ENTIRELY on the person who is making said bowl. And by that I mean if you don’t get Aster, get in another line and accept the fact that today you’re just going to have to eat a quesadilla.
Who is Aster? Aster is the Blazin’ Bowl wizard who works Monday through Thursday at Lower and Friday through Sunday at Dunkin’ Donuts. You could say we’re tight. She knows my Blazin’ Bowl order AND my coffee order: sesame dressing, no meat and large iced hazelnut, extra skim, one sugar. Boom. BFFLs.
Seeing as Aster and I are best friends, I figured she wouldn’t mind if I tried my hand at her trade. Behold:
The Adventures of Emily and her Blazin’ Bowl (Part I)
7:03 p.m. I guess I have to cut up vegetables and wash lettuce since my house doesn’t come with a magically stocked salad bar. Drat.
7:04 p.m. “MOOOOMM, DO WE HAVE LETTUCE?”
7:05 p.m. No lettuce. To the grocery store we go!
8:00 p.m. Lettuce and assorted vegetables acquired. Chopping to commence momentarily.
8:11 p.m. Everything is chopped, washed and color coordinated. Aster would be so proud. **sniff** Also cooking meat scares me so I avoid it at all costs. I don’t usually get meat in my Blazin’ Bowl anyways, since the chicken they use at Lower is wicked sketch.
8:12 p.m. Remember kids, avocado makes life better. Always use avocado.
8:14 p.m. We don’t have any handy dandy plastic salad bowls a la Lower so I’m just going to use the ginormous ceramic bowl that feeds a family of four and eat it all. #YOLO
8:16 p.m. Aster usually uses approximately 1 liter of salad dressing so I’m going to use approximately .5 liters of salad dressing.
8:17 p.m. The bold decision to use "Sweet Onion" salad dressing as opposed to "Sesame" salad dressing has been made.
8:19 p.m. “GET IN THE PANNN.” You need to imagine me yelling this at the vegetables the way golf spectators yell “GET IN THE HOLEEE” at the ball. It’s been a long weekend.
8:23 p.m. Brief moment of panic: was I supposed to pre-steam the broccoli? Is pre-steaming even a word? Am I just making up culinary techniques at this point?
8:25 p.m. Mushy vegetables are the best vegetables so I probably overcooked my Blazin’ Bowl by Aster’s standards. I’m over it.
8:27 p.m. The vegetables are on the salad and the masterpiece is 85% done.
8:28 p.m. True Blazin’ Bowl aficionados know that if you put so much as a shred of cheese in your bowl of vegetables in line you’re going to get a whole lot of sass from Aster and a pile of raw vegetables and cheese on top of some lettuce. A.K.A. the cheese (and avocado) goes on last.
8:29 p.m. My masterpiece is complete. Lower are you hiring? (Lol jokes Aster, I could never replace you.)
Photos by Emily Akin/Gavel Media.