Opinion: Being tan is the greatest thing you can be

How can you measure your worth during the summertime? It’s easy, just put your forearm next to someone else’s and see who is tanner! Everyone knows that a person’s tan equates to his or her overall level of attractiveness and value as a human being.

A bronze glow is definitely indicative of your social status. In the winter a tan demonstrates that you have both the time and wealth to take vacations in luxurious locations such as South Beach and the Caribbean. Upon your return, especially in colder climates like New England, your darker complexion not only makes you more attractive, but also prompts the less fortunate pale folks around you to ask about your tropical trip. Everyone knows that wealth is SUPER important and not just a superficial entity, so make sure to show yours off with a tan!

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Even in the summer a tan shows that you are a part of the luxury class. Your darker coloring tells the world about all the leisure time you have, either because Daddy makes sure you don’t have to work too hard or because you are the boss of your own company and can take as much time off in the summer as you want. The tan also says that you spend a lot of time at the beach and might even own a summer home in the Hamptons or on the Cape…or at least a cabana at some private beach club.

gavel3-300x300The darker and more golden brown your skin is, the more attractive you automatically are. Emory University even conducted a survey using the website HotorNot.com – a site that is known for its intelligent and complex viewers – where photos of women were doctored to make them look tanner. Both the original and the doctored photo were posted on the website and the altered photo generally received a better “hotness” rating. This concludes that a darker complexion does make you more attractive and looks are everything. It’s practically science people, and do you really want to argue with science?

Courtesy of Erik J. Gutstafon/Flickr

Courtesy of Erik J. Gutstafon/Flickr.
Don't you want to look like this guy?

A tan can even make you appear to be in better shape than you actually are! Stop hitting the gym ladies and gentleman and get out your beach chair instead. Darker skin can help to increase the visibility of muscle definition and for women it can make you appear thinner. We should all strive to have the perfect body despite the costs (*cough cough* skin cancer) and if the sun helps then use it. After all, the only thing you need for that perfect beach body is to head down to the ocean!

I would even encourage you to use a tanning bed. Sure, they might cause cancer, but that would never happen to you! By heading to your local tanning salon you can maintain that summer glow all year round. Think of how jealous all of your friends will be when your tan magically seems to last all year.

Seriously though, people need to stop being so tan obsessed. It is shallow and dangerous. UVA/UVB rays have been scientifically proven to cause skin cancer. Also, for those of you who want to look “good,” dermatologists warn that prolonged sun exposure will speed up aging and cause wrinkles.

I work as a lifeguard and can get pretty tan if I want to, but I choose instead to protect myself by applying at least SPF 30 sunscreen and I encourage you to do the same. Don’t get me wrong; I encourage everyone to enjoy the outdoors during the summer. Just stop the superficial nonsense and excessive sunbathing to get that “perfect tan.”

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