Life as I know it is over. I have a kitchen next year and I’m going to starve. At least, that was my first reaction. I decided to be proactive about this big obstacle in my life. I thought I was done learning gross adult tasks when I learned to do laundry.
As it turns out, food doesn’t magically appear like it does in the dining halls or in the dining room at home. So, instead of my usual summer activities (spending hours on YouTube, watching movies and turning my room into a cave), I’m forcing myself to do a little growing up and learn to cook. By growing up I mean making Brenda, my mom, teach me how to cook.
I should clarify that the longest amount of time I’ve spent in my own kitchen was when my sister and I turned it into a dance studio when we made a music video to a medley of Kanye West songs.
Using my kitchen for its original purpose, I chose pancakes as my first meal. Why? Because I’m getting tired of waking up well past noon to have my mother refuse to make me breakfast. Okay that’s not true, my mom didn’t want to hang out with me was busy today and I made the one meal I’ve been known to make pretty well: a hearty pancake breakfast.
So before I lead you astray this summer and this blog turns into “How to burn your dinner”, here is a foolproof recipe that will help you impress all your hungry friends.
PANCAKES FOR TWO
(Disclaimer: Portions are subjective. While this should be enough for two, it’s usually only enough for my dad, so adjust accordingly.)
What You’ll Need:
1 and 1/3 cups Flour
2 oz. Vegetable Oil
1 cup Milk
1 tbsp Baking Powder
1 teaspoon Salt
2 tbsp Sugar
1 tbsp Vanilla Extract
-For an extra dose of sugar, add chocolate chips to the batter.
-A stereo to blast music and alert EVERYONE that you’re in the kitchen.
-A really cute personalized apron (This is actually first priority. If you’re anything like me, which hopefully you have the good sense not to be, you will need this).
Step 1: Assemble your army.
Get all your supplies together in one place. It will make your life easier.
Step 2: Plunge in head first.
Measure the flour and pour into a mixing bowl. Then, add the eggs. Chef bonus: for a better taste and swag points, crack the eggs open first. It will greatly improve the recipe and your friends will thank you for it!
Next, on top of the mix, add vanilla extract (It sounds delicious but don’t try to drink it), baking powder, salt, sugar, vegetable oil and milk.
Step 3: Sir Mix-A-Lot.
At this point, the mix should look like the eating challenge of Fear Factor, but never fear! That’s a good sign!
Now get your hands dirty and start mixing. Or, be reasonable and use a handy electric mixer like I do.
The consistency should be relatively heavy. Not too watery, but not too thick. If the consistency is too thick, feel free to add more milk. If it’s too watery, add a more flour.
Step 4: Iron Chef.
You’ve gotten past the hard part. Now your only task is not to burn the pancakes. Easier said than done, am I right?
Coat the pan with 1 tbsp of vegetable oil, so as to keep the pancakes from sticking. You could also spray on some Pam. Pour the batter straight onto the pan. Keep the heat on medium to let it properly cook. When you see the bubbles in the batter starting to pop, flip that bad boy over.
Repeat until you finish the batter, or until your audience can’t eat anymore.
Step 5: Gloat.
If you’re feeling fancy, add strawberries on top to make a fabulous presentation.
Serve them to your friends and and watch as they ask you to be their own personal chef.