“And now you’re off somewhere, just living it up, wearing a crop top. You probably got your vagina pierced and you’re not answering your phone…” - Hannah, to Jessa’s answering machine
Season finales are typically bittersweet, and “Girls” is always on the more bitter side of the spectrum. So, I wasn’t expecting this finale to present any fairytale endings. Especially after all of the disastrous and unforgivably cringe-worthy moments of last week’s episode (watch this if you wish to relive the horror). BUT I was wrong. For the first time this season (and possibly ever), “Girls” actually gives us some just-what-you-were-hoping-for moments. I was “awwwwingg” the entire time. The season finale was a perfect cure for post-St. Patrick’s Day depression.
DON'T BE FOOLED by the opening scenes of the episode
Seriously. As Hannah proceeded to mess with her ears and “googles” obsessively, I was tempted to stop watching the episode (tsk, tsk). I wasn’t sure if I could handle another dark and demented episode. But I hung in there, and it was worth it. These opening moments make the rest of the episode so much more surprising and satisfying.
“I can't really decide if he's the greatest person in the world or the worst and I should probably take my space until I figure that out."
A couple of episodes ago, Hannah said this to her therapist. She was discussing how she feels about Adam: confused. It felt like these words applied to every character on the show. For the past few weeks, they’ve all been trying to decide how they feel about their significant others. They’ve been avoiding confrontations for weeks because there really is no middle ground here. In this episode, the characters are finally forced to acknowledge whether their loved ones are the WORST or the GREATEST people in their lives. And this, inevitably, leads to one of two things: 1) Gettin’ together 2) Breakin’ up
Let me break it down for y'all:
Gettin’ (back) together:
Hannah and Adam:
FINALLY, they realize they’re perfect for each other. Okay, I was happy to see Adam with a “normal” girl (Natalia) but let's face it: the dude is in no way normal. He needs someone that is just as weird as him, and that is definitely Hannah. He tries out “normal” sex and “normal” dates with her but he isn’t fooling anyone. He needs Hannah. She is the greatest person in his life.
Similarly, with the reappearance of her OCD, Hannah is in a very dark place. All of her issues finally make her realize how much she needs Adam. He is the only person that can comfort her and understand her, and she realizes this at the end of the episode. He is the greatest person in her life, and so she reaches out to him. The episode ends with Hannah in Adam’s arms. YESSSS.
Marnie and Charlie:
As much as I hate to admit it, these two are also meant to be together. I love Charlie and hate Marnie, so I was kind of hoping he’d break her heart. She has messed with him so much in the past that I thought that it was his turn to hurt her. I was feeling pretty satisfied when Charlie appeared to reject Marnie’s request to restart their relationship. But then Marnie busted out some emotions (which I didn’t think she really had) and she finally got to me (emotionally). I know, I’m a sucker. She said, “I know I’m a mess, but I want you. I want to see you every morning and I want to make you a snack every night; and eventually I want to have your little brown babies and I want to watch you die.”
**Tears** Marnie, you surprised me with that one. She was so vulnerable in the moment that she gave up any power she previously had over Charlie and showed raw emotion. After that, it felt like they just had to be together. She’s finally ready to take him seriously. He's always known that she is the one, but it took her a little longer.
Shoshanna and Ray:
PRAISE THE LORD. This has been a long time coming. I was hoping that Shosh’s post-cheating guilt would get the best of her sooner but I’m just grateful that she finally went through with the break-up. It has been clear for a long time that Ray is the very WORST person in Shoshanna’s life (and most other people’s lives). They’re just wrong for each other. Shoshanna is a bubbly college student who has a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster and a purse “shaped like a croissant.” Ray is a miserable, homeless, coffee-shop manager who is going nowhere (my favorite nickname for him is Eeyore). Shoshanna finally realized that he is truly the WORST person in her life and that was that. Ray seemed determine to prove he was worth it to her but for now, it looks like they’re over. Shoshanna DID get freaky with another dude during the episode. I’ll take that as a good sign.
Adam and Natalie:
I guess their break-up was just implied. Adam rescues Hannah in the end and leaves Natalia behind. They never really clicked (especially sexually), and Adam had all this built-up weirdness that he let out by bashing random stuff. This was definitely for the best. Natalie was fun to look at but we didn’t really have time to get attached to her character. I’m assuming she’s gone for good. Not because she was the worst person in Adam’s life, but because the role of greatest was already filled by Hannah.
Hannah’s Haircut and Laird:
Why and why…? I hate and love both of the above. Hannah decides to cut her hair (it is part of her mental breakdown) and it is really bad. Bowl-cut bad. But at the same time I couldn’t help but feel a little impressed. Not by Hannah Horvath but by Lena Dunham. She LEGITIMATELY cut her hair, and THAT is dedication to the cause. She really dedicates all of herself to the show, and I think it pays off.
Then there is Laird. I mostly hate him but kind of love him. I hate his character but he always serves some sort of purpose. In this episode, he shows how far gone Hannah is. You know things are bad when even Laird seems more sane than her. So, I guess, thanks Laird. But please don’t come back. I’m over you and your beanie too.
Yo, what’s the deal with the book deal?
Okay, so after Hannah’s phone conversation about the book deal, I sincerely believed she was going to write the book in a day. I envisioned this episode full of Hannah writing (with the Rocky theme song in the background). In the end, she would produce some work of genius and become famous. But no such luck. Hannah attempts to work on the book throughout the episode but she never really gets to it. And in the end, her mental health takes priority. Will she ever produce said eBook?
Come on, Jessa
STILL no Jessa. I thought the saddest and funniest moment of the episode was when Hannah left a message on Jessa’s answering machine; it was hilarious but also so sad. Jessa is the only person (besides Adam) who would be able to understand her in this weird state. And if she isn’t there, no one is. You can tell how angry she is but also how much she misses her. Seriously Jessa, WHERE ARE YOU? I never though I’d want you to come back, but it's time. Adam can't be Hannah’s only support. That won't end well.
Okay, so this was my favorite part of the episode. Hannah Facetimes Adam as they both reach rock bottom. Hannah’s in bed breaking down, and Adam is in his apartment literally breaking everything. Adam sees her desperation, drops everything, and runs to her apartment. They Facetime his whole way there, and when he gets there he is forced to break down the door because Hannah won't open it. It was just the most perfect moment for so many reasons. It wasn’t cliche. It’s so easy for these “let me rescue you” moments to feel incredibly fake. And we’ve seen this scene so many times—a guy running to get the girl of his dreams. But this felt real.
This wasn’t your stereotypical “fairytale” moment. This was a real guy, going to help the real girl of his dreams. And I loved the fact that they incorporated technology. “Girls” is all about our generation, and the new ways in which we connect. It may seem silly but iPhones are a huge part of that connection for many of us. Adam wasn’t on some horse-drawn carriage, in a tuxedo, with the perfect speech prepared for her. He was running through the streets of NYC, dodging cars, and Facetiming Hannah. And it was perfect. This is a new world, with a new type of fairytale.
Adam running to Hannah’s rescue was the most heroic moment I’ve seen on TV for a while.
Get ready for a whole new season of nudity, awkwardness, and all things Hannah Horvath. I'm hoping for fewer ruptured ear drums but I won't get my hopes up.