“Archer” Episodes 3 & 4: Legs & Midnight Ron

Episode 3: Legs

First of all…let me offer my apologies. Last week’s post didn’t go up until now because I am a boob. To all of my loyal readers…I am truly, deeply, regrettably sorry. Here’s a double whammy for you.

I only have one question from this episode: WHAT is FOURTH OF JU-LUAU???? They mention it about a million times, and it sounds magical. On to the recap: This week’s episode takes a few different storylines and eventually mashes them together in one big sweaty, bloody, beer-soaked ending that is simply hilarious. Also, this week’s “Archer” was gloriously Krieger-heavy, which is not something I will take lightly. I have a tendency to like the stranger characters in TV shows (Hooch from “Scrubs,” Randy Marsh from “South Park,” etc.), and took full advantage of Dr. Krieger’s…eccentricities.

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

The episode starts with a hilarious montage of poor, paralyzed agent Ray Gillette attempting to perform his usual morning routine…from his electric wheelchair. Oh Ray, it’s so easy to love you, yet mock you endlessly. Ray’s limp, lifeless legs are the conduits for the huge amount of Krieger in this episode, which may be the greatest thing ever. Krieger’s goal for this episode is ultimately to give Ray bionic legs (which, according to him, may be the Greek word for “kicka**”). Archer and his crippling (yet justified) fear of cyborgs do not take too kindly to this. But let’s have some Krieger-isms!

  • “So we attach this power unit to your…spiny-thing, which connects to all this…stuff, which will be fused with your brand-new vanadium…leg bones.” – referring to Ray’s hopeful new cyborg legs
  • “Nothing a few thousand volts couldn’t take care of. The human body is basically a potato clock.”
  • “Are you gonna wash your hands?”
  • “Meh. I didn’t.”
  • “Well, you know, if the worst happens…there’s lots of dumpsters!”

Oh Krieger. You crazy German. A few other nice takeaways from this episode include:

-Archer’s investigation of a “ballistic phenomenon.” Perpetual ISIS shooting victim Brett Buckley returns in this episode to get hit in the stairwell by a miracle bullet, shot by Archer, that ricochets off of everything. That’s gotta be a record.

-Pam’s epic drinking. While assisting Krieger in surgery, Pam downs six beers and a taco. All while not wearing gloves. I think at one point she is using Ray’s surgically opened legs (ew) as a beer coozie. Again, ick.

-The return of Rodney, the “gun librarian!” I’m loving this new character. Hilarious, deadpan, and plays well with the rest of the cast.

-A fantastic Terminator reference from Archer. “Your clothes. Give them to me.” Oh, cyborgs.

 

Episode 4: Midnight Ron

The title is obviously a reference to Midnight Run. And at the very least, this episode is juicy. Off we go. This episode features a ton of new character Ron Cadillac, Malory Archer’s (Jessica Walters) new husband (voiced, coincidentally, by Walters’ real-life husband Ron Lieberman).

On that note, let me start with Malory Archer’s odd xenophobia towards Canada, telling Archer (stranded in Montreal) to get some “free penicillin compliments of the Socialist Republic of Canada.” Oh, Canada, is there no end to how much we can mock you (much love, my northern brothers)? Hopefully he didn’t contract some “new drug-resistant form of VD.” Kids, STDs aren’t a joke, but they are pretty funny when a certain animated fictional spy gets them constantly. Ahem, Archer.

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

Side note: this episode marks the welcome return of Pam’s crockpot lunch. Yep. The mystery contents of an entire crockpot. For lunch. For one person. Oh, Pam. You manatee. Also, Jon Benjamin’s drunk voice while attempting to speak French is amazing. We also finally learn Malory’s third biggest fear! “He brings home a whore and says ‘We’re married!' Oh…and the whore has bangs.” I guess bangs are really one of her bugaboos.

The main premise of last night’s episode is, to quote Ron Cadillac, a “frickin’ epic” adventure from Montreal for Ron and Archer. This is supplemented by some hilarious turn-downs for Archer’s request for money from every ISIS employee, turned into a great phone tree (featuring Krieger and an irate Komodo Dragon). Even Woodhouse, Archer’s man-servant (ahem, slave) isn’t receptive, despite Archer “basically owning him.” Don’t worry, he eats a big bowl of spiderwebs. Woodhouse punishments are the best.

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

Screenshot by Adam Parshall/Gavel Media

Now, Ron’s rescue of Archer from the mysterious, ridiculous land of Canada is not about bonding with his new stepson. Ron happens to be on the run from some assassins from his old days as a New York gangster, making him not the “most boringest person on this whole planet of Earth.” More than one attempt on Archer’s and Ron’s lives eventually lead to the hilarious kidnapping by a group of people dressed, in Cheryl’s words, like they were in “Road Warrior if it were directed by John Waters.” Creepy.

A few train hobo muggings and some great threats from Archer to Woodhouse, not to mention a little stepfather-stepson bonding time, and we’re back in New York, with Ron and Malory together again, and Archer happily in his hot tub. Let’s look at a few pop-culture references!

-Cheryl’s Human Centipede arts & crafts…ew.

-Pam’s insistence on making it rain like “Pac Man Jones”

-“I guess they have C.H.U.D.s in New York!”

-“We look like we’re dressed from The Ballad Of the Flim Flam Man!!!”

Oh, and a bonus! Cheryl’s mysterious old gypsy woman premonition references make a welcome return! Hopefully they keep coming back (and coming true)… I should really start going to see that old gypsy woman. See y’all next week!

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