Super Bowl XLVII commercials – The good, the bad, and the disgusting

You know those people who only watched this past Sunday’s Super Bowl for Beyonce and the commercials? Guilty as charged.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good football game (which this year’s game definitely proved to be), but what I really get excited for come Super Bowl Sunday are the over-the-top, celebrity-filled ads that cost millions of dollars to air in between shots of large sweaty men knocking each other to the ground.

As always, this year’s batch of commercials included some hits that knocked it out of the park and produced major laughs. However, with good must come bad (one ad in particular is still giving me nightmares). Here’s a list of some of the most noteworthy Super Bowl commercials of 2013:

1. Best Buy – “Asking Amy”

What better way to start off the list than with a BC alum? Best Buy’s Super Bowl ad featured the incomparably hilarious Amy Poehler. The 30-second spot featured BC’s funniest alumnus interrogating a Best Buy sales clerk. At the end she also tosses in a sassy 50 Shades of Grey reference for good measure.

2. Taco Bell – “Viva Young”

Fun. is just everywhere these days! Days after performing at Boston’s Orpheum Theater, the band’s most famous song, “We Are Young,” was featured in Taco Bell’s game day commercial. Oh, did I mention that it’s sung in Spanish? This commercial was definitely a crowd favorite, featuring elderly men and women escaping from their retirement homes and gallivanting through the streets like the wild and crazy teenagers that are trapped in their hearts.

3. Go Daddy – “Perfect Match”

WARNING: Prepare to have your gag reflex tested. Go Daddy is known for its provocative commercials that feature sexy women, but this ad just goes too far. Gorgeous supermodel Bar Refaeli represents the “sexy” side of Go Daddy, while the awkward, nerdy guy seated next to her represents the “smart” side. As Danica Patrick narrates (is she still relevant?), Bar and the nerd engage in the grossest make-out session to ever grace a television screen. I will never be able to erase the close-up shot of their slimy lips from my brain. Let’s just keep in mind that this man was paid to make out with the woman who ranked #1 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list in 2012. I’m pretty sure someone could have repeatedly punched him in the face as payment and he still would’ve taken the job, no questions asked.

4. Samsung – “Next Big Thing”

 

This year’s award for highest star-power in one commercial goes to Samsung. The ad features two of Hollywood’s leading funny-men, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd, plus a cameo by Lebron James via video chat. With so many celebrities, this ad had a lot of potential, but it honestly fell flat. The first 45 seconds were great, but with a run-time of 2 minutes, the commercial dragged on a lot longer than necessary, causing some awkward hiccups and a loss of audience interest.

5. Tide – “Miracle Stain”

Tide’s commercial perfectly blended the use of their product with a hilarious idea. This ad features a man who drops salsa on his 49ers jersey, creating a “miracle stain” in the shape of Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana. After the stain becomes a tourist attraction, the man’s wife eliminates his lucky charm with Tide, and slyly looks at the camera as she says, “Go Ravens!”

5. Budweiser – “The Clydesdales: Brotherhood”

For years, Budweiser has used the Clydesdale horses as their ad mascots, but this commercial takes the lovable horses and uses them to produce a heart-warming tearjerker. Everyone, from young children to grown men, fought back a few happy-tears as they watched one of the Clydesdales break from a parade to reunite with his owner, years after their separation. This commercial makes me want to drive over to the nearest barn and hug as many horses as I can find.

6. Wonderful Pistachios – “Crackin’ Gangnam Style”

A few months ago, life-sized pistachios dancing to “Gangnam Style” would’ve cracked me up (Hah! I’m so punny!), but this commercial may have come a bit too late in the game. The initial craze that “Gangnam Style” once created is long gone and the words “ayyy sexy lady” are now met with uninterested groans instead of equestrian-esque dance moves.

7. Kia Sorento – “Space Babies”

It’s official. After college I’m moving to “Babylandia,” the fictional planet created by this commercial’s clever father in response to his son’s inquiry of, “Where do babies come from?” Adorable babies of every species all living together on one planet?! The genius who came up with the idea for this ad deserves a Nobel Prize for Cuteness (Okay, that’s not a real thing, but it should be).

8. Oreo – “Whisper Fight”

In my opinion, the best commercial of the night goes to the folks at Oreo. In this ad, an entire library breaks out into a whisper-fight over which part of an Oreo is best: cookie or cream? It escalates so drastically that the fire department and the police arrive, who then must whisper as well. It is a library after all, and anyone who has been in Bapst knows that no one is allowed to speak above a whisper, not even the police.

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