The Patriots didn’t make the Super Bowl this year. Some wounds are too raw to talk about, so I won’t go into that now. Normally I would shun football and go sit in a closet somewhere during the Super Bowl out of sheer depression.
However, this year I will be tuning in to Super Bowl XLVII at 6:30 p.m. on CBS for one reason, and one reason only: the performance of one fabulous, booty-licious diva.
Beyonce is performing at the Super Bowl halftime show this year. Praise the lord of music and butt shaking! I can hardly contain my excitement. Not only is Beyonce going to be on stage shaking her thang, but also the one and only Destiny’s Child will be reuniting to bring down the house.
The group recently released a greatest hits album, but let’s just be honest here: I want Beyonce. I could not care less about Destiny’s Child. I’m sorry Kelly and Michelle. You just can’t compete with my girl crush. Don’t lie ladies, we all have one or two. Mine happens to be Beyonce. Why? This video should answer that question.
I don’t really think there needs to be further explanation. If you don’t love Beyonce, I’m not sure if we can be friends. I don’t even know if I can condone you reading the rest of this article. Peace out haters!
Because who doesn’t love Beyonce? I want to be Beyonce. Michael Scott wants to be Beyonce.
Every day I check, just to make sure I haven’t turned in to Beyonce by some miracle. But alas, every day I am forced to retweet the account @amibeyonceyet:
Sadness, I know. What makes me even sadder is how the great name of Beyonce has been sullied by the recent lip-syncing scandal at the Presidential Inauguration. Let me first and foremost emphasize that most of Beyonce’s greatness lies in her humanity. She is relatable, beautiful and natural. And apparently she is scared to sing in front of millions of people in the most televised event of the year.
It's been predicted that this incident will only increase the amount of views that the famous halftime show receives this year. It's sad that people will only watch the show in order to root for an artist's failure. This is no reason to jump all over her as an artist. If you really need to assure yourself of her ability to sing live, just watch her appearance with Jay-Z at Barclays earlier this year.
She is famous for a reason people, let’s not hate on her too much. Or at all. Please forgive Beyonce! She is fabulous, and we must overlook this. I need to get on with my life, and go back to worshiping her in peace.
Most importantly I need to go back to memorizing her dance moves, which I will employ in full force tonight around 8 p.m. I suggest you all follow suit, and study up using this handy guide to divahood. Everyone get ready to party, Beyonce-style.
Tune in to the Super Bowl at 6:30 p.m. tonight on CBS to witness what is surely going to be the greatest halftime show in the history of the program.