No, you’re not dreaming. It’s actually over. Forever.
The final episode of “Gossip Girl” wrapped everything up in a neat little bow. Couples married, couples broke up, and the identity of Gossip Girl was finally revealed.
The episode began right where the last one left off: with Bart’s cold, lifeless body sprawled out on the concrete and Chuck and Blair making a run for it. Once the media are alerted to Bart’s death, the cops begin a manhunt for Chuck. While hiding from the police, the lovebirds receive a visit by Chuck’s uncle, Jack Bass, who looks like he’s auditioning for a part in “The Walking Dead.” What’s with the dark, sunken cheeks?
Jack explains that Blair is the only other witness to Bart’s death and will be heavily targeted to testify in court, possibly jeopardizing Chuck’s safety. One way to ensure that she can’t be legally forced to testify is if she and Chuck tie the knot. At first, Chuck is upset that their wedding won’t be perfect but Blair assures him that she’d take a spontaneous wedding over a fairytale any day as long as it means they can be together forever. He gets down on one knee and proposes. I squeal audibly.
Meanwhile, Nate and Sage are desperately trying to piece together clues as to who Gossip Girl really is without much luck. Some names thrown around include Jenny and Eric, but none of the names they could guess this early in the episode could be the answer. That would ruin the suspense!
William van der Woodsen rushes to Lily’s side following the news that her most recent husband has passed. Ivy intercepts the pair on their way out of Lily’s apartment and announces how happily in love she and William are, but William acts like he has no idea what she is talking about. Lily walks away and he explains that all he ever wanted this whole time was to be back with his wife, and he thanks Ivy for helping him achieve his goal. The ultimate con artist just got out-conned. Thank goodness someone put her in her place because she was seriously obnoxious and I was getting sick of her raspy smoker’s voice.
Serena shows up at Dan’s new apartment after reading his love-letter chapter and abandoning her trip to L.A., at which point she asks Dan to come clean and tell her which chapter expressed his true feelings. He tells her he has loved her since the second he saw her flawless face. Cue flashback! A hilarious flashback plays out this moment from Dan’s perspective, featuring Dan with a shaved head a la Season 1 and Chuck bringing back his signature scarf.
When the flashback is done, Dan explains that he has also had the power to reveal Gossip Girl’s identity all along. Serena also guesses Jenny. Everyone stop guessing that and move on! It’s obviously not Little Miss Raccoon-eyes.
Chuck and Blair round up all of their family and friends last minute for a surprise wedding in Central Park. Blair looks positively breathtaking in a nude and pale blue dress – and of course it wouldn’t be complete without a blinged-out version of one of her signature headbands. Dan overhears Blair talking to Serena before the wedding and telling her that she could never end up with a “nobody” like Dan. He takes that as his cue to spring into action and run away on some sort of mission.
Blair’s step-dad leads a super-speedy version of the wedding ceremony as cop cars close in on the wanted couple. Note: Did you catch Chuck subtly whispering, “I love you” after they sealed their vows with a kiss? If not, I urge you to go re-watch that part over and over again. It’s worth it. The couple gets whisked away by the police for questioning. Quite the honeymoon, if you ask me.
Cut back to Dan – he’s running up the steps of the Met where he finds Nate and hands him an envelope with the final chapter of his book for “The Spectator” to publish. The chapter is all about Gossip Girl’s true identity. Here we go. The big reveal.
Just kidding! The reveal is postponed by an awesome montage of guest stars reacting to the reveal before we are even told who it is. Vanessa, Juliet, Agnes and even Kristen Bell – the voice of Gossip Girl – all make an appearance. My personal favorite was New York’s own Mayor Bloomberg exclaiming, “I always thought it was Dorota!” Who knew the Mayor loves “Gossip Girl” as much as we do?
Alright, now here comes the reveal. The identity of the blogger who has basically run the Upper East Side like a puppet master for the last six years. The face behind Gossip Girl is none other than…
When you put all of the pieces together it actually makes a lot of sense. Dan has never fit into the glamorous lifestyle of the Upper East Side. He knows for a fact that “you’re nobody until you’re talked about.” So what better way to get people talking than to write yourself into this world yourself as “Lonely Boy,” the charming underdog? I always knew Dan was smart but even I didn’t see that one coming.
There may be a few complaints of inconsistencies in earlier seasons, asserting that there is no way he could have been Gossip Girl all along, but it kind of makes sense if you imagine that he has merely been playing dumb this whole time and every blast that “surprised” him was really just an act.
At first, the gang is ticked off, but Serena convinces them that Dan may have completely changed their lives but ultimately it was for the better because they are all happy now. Dorota is also hilarious in this scene because – as I’ve always said – she is clearly the best character in this whole show.
Flash forward five years. Little Henry Bass is playing in the nursery when he runs into his daddy’s arms. Can you just imagine how perfect the child of Chuck and Blair will grow up to be? Most fashionable business tycoon ever. Jenny and Eric reappear for all of two seconds just to remind everyone that they still exist. There are couples galore; Lily is happily back with William, Rufus has found some random lady who looks uncomfortably similar to him, and Jack Bass and Georgina have formed the ultimate devious pair of scheming lovebirds.
Dan is waiting at the bottom of a staircase looking dapper and nervous. Down walks Serena, looking like a shimmering princess in a metallic gold gown with an explosion of white tulle at the bottom. The camera pans out as the two wed, perfectly tying together all of the characters’ love stories as they are meant to be. Oh wait, we forgot Nate. He’s all alone. Typical. Even in the last episode he can’t catch a break.
The episode ends with Gossip Girl’s voice explaining that even though Dan has resigned, Gossip Girl will never die. There will always be someone on the outside desperately trying to get in. So with a new generation, a new Gossip Girl is born.
This show truly defined a generation of teens that grew up along with the characters on the show. It will be deeply missed, but I am sure that it will live on as one of the most influential shows of our time. The generation before us had Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha, but we had Serena, Blair, Chuck, Dan and Nate.