Oh, the mustache. It tickles the fancy, doesn’t it? Or at the very least, gives you a shiver when it hits your face. It’s Movember and already men have begun sprouting little hairs in celebration. In a few weeks, everywhere you go, you’ll think you’re at a Tom Selleck convention.
I’ll admit, I used to be against the mustache, but then I grew curious. This fuzzy male accessory is a mystery to the female of the 21st century. Yet every November, whether we like it or not, the Stache comes back like some sort of migratory animal. So I set my sights on getting to the bottom of this hairy conspiracy.
I went around campus this past weekend with a few questions for those modeling the Movember look. It started off as a big joke. I asked my friend Rory if he felt like a dad. I got offended when Tim O’Brian, a BC alum, proudly announced that girls were just jealous that they can’t grow “face warmers.” I made the assumption that mustaches went hand in hand with “bro” behavior, and that Movember was just an excuse to be lazy.
Little did I know that it would be easier for the young BC male, running around from class to class, Plex to shower, shower to library, to simply shave or grow a full-on mask of hair. The mustache is trickier than I thought, requiring time, money and of course, confidence.
I can’t speak for every girl, but I always thought men spent little to no time in front of the mirror. I need at least half an hour to get ready for any event, and yes, that includes going to the gym. Movember is that kind of event for guys. Men are proud of their mustaches and like to keep them tidy. This requires trimming, shaving and in some intense cases, even brushing the upper lip area.
I watched as my buddy Mike went to town on the hair surrounding his mustache via his Christmas present, the Gillette Fusion ProGlide Styler. He spent 15 minutes meticulously removing unwanted hair and tending to those precious keepers. Waiting for him to finish, I called my brother and apologized for all those times I made him wait in the car as I got ready for school.
Some of my male friends even admitted to tweezing around the mustache; after all, shape is essential to the look. I didn’t know that men even knew what tweezers were, let alone how to use them. I suppose male grooming devices are a popular gift, but a lot of “Mo Bros” need to purchase these items on their own. Trimmers can run a stylish young lad anywhere from 20-80 bucks! So ladies, soak in the truth: appreciate the Stache for all its worth.
Not only are time and money pivotal features of the Movember movement, the revolution is also marked by an air of confidence in the male population. It’s a time for boys to prove that they are, in fact, men. The mustache is a mark of superiority, style and machismo. And no, I’m not saying this sarcastically.
Sculpting a prominent mustache requires a great deal of commitment and for those of you who don’t already know, the movement was started as a means of raising awareness to various male health issues such as prostate cancer. The Movember & Sons Foundation donates millions to cancer research every year. The movement is, in actuality, a legitimate contribution to a positive cause.
But Movember is also a fun, exciting way for men to express themselves. Girls are given every bit of privilege to accessorize, so I am proud to say I am in favor of mustache November. If the male population would like to devote a month to epic facial hair, then so be it! Let’s tell Chuck Norris jokes and have a competition to see who can rock the fuzziest milk mustache. After all, you only live once, so why not see what a month of experimentation with upper lip hair will yield.