Time to get real: The 5 real winners of the 2012 Emmy Awards

Let’s face it.  Nobody cares about the Emmys, besides the cast of “Modern Family” who collectively walk away with… well… just about every award.

As if the Emmy Awards were not worthless enough, “Two and a Half Men” won three out of the four awards that it was nominated for, beating out “How I Met Your Mother,” “30 Rock” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” to name a few more deserving programs.

Still, the night was not a total loss.  Forget who walked away with the most statuettes — these five people are the ones who truly won this year’s Emmy Awards.

5.  Amy Poehler:  This former Eagle looked damn fine as she strutted her stuff across the red carpet, fresh off of her split from longtime hubby Will Arnett.  Work it, girl!

4.  Julianne Moore:  Moore played Sarah Palin in the movie “Game Change,” which won four Emmys.  Her acceptance speech, which called Palin out for hating the movie, upset many conservatives.  More upsetting was her terrifyingly yellow dress, but I like to think that she looked tacky on purpose— to come full circle with her role as Palin.  Well played, indeed.

3.  Jimmy Kimmel:  If you were on Twitter last night, you probably saw at least one tweet along the lines of "OMG, Tracy Morgan just passed out on the Emmys. Turn ABC on now!"  As it turns out, Kimmel set the whole thing up to trick the Twittersphere.  He told viewers to tweet that exact line, and see how many people tuned in right at that moment to find Morgan passed out on stage.  You're so sneaky Jimmy!

2.  Judd Apatow:  Judd Apatow’s post-loss tweets, most of which consisted of shameless selfies, were absolute gold.

1.  Nick Loeb:  Who is that, you ask?  Oh, just the person who is about to wifey up Sofia Vergara. Her Twitter followers didn't make out half bad, either. Warning! NSFW.

She may have been basking in the glory of the four Emmys that “Modern Family” won, but I think we all know who the real winner is here.