Unsolicited Celebrity Advice Column: Chris Brown's Tattoo

Dear Chris Brown’s Tattoo,

This must be a confusing time for you.

One day, you are just a vial of ink in a tattoo shop, innocently awaiting your turn to ink up some random person.

Next thing you know, the unthinkable happens.  Chris Brown walks into your tattoo shop and requests a “sugar skull” on his neck.   Now you have no choice but to spend the rest of your existence trapped underneath the skin of one of the most unfortunate pop culture figures to ever exist.

As if things could not get any worse, this supposed “sugar skull” bears an uncanny resemblance to Rihanna’s face in the infamous beaten picture of her.  Although Chris has denied this connection, the similarities are eerily undeniable.

And to think, you could’ve been Rihanna’s awesome new underboob tat.

Luckily, there is one thing you can do: get infected.  Please, Chris Brown’s Tattoo, infect the shit out of Chris Brown.

Do it for those of us who cannot.

Unsolicitedly Yours,